I had a dream a few nights ago that I was with my dad. We were catching up and talking (about what I don't remember). We were both just so happy to be together. At times he would take my hand and we embraced in a big wonderful hug just before the dream ended and I woke up. What an amazing dream. It left me feeling so full of joy and peace. I have never had a dream like it before. I really feel like he had reached out to visit me.
I was blessed to have had such a good relationship with my dad especially in my adult years. He was always the head of the family. He was a leader, care-giver, advisor, husband, father and grandfather. He loved his family. He loved God. He was a good man, one of the best.
As a child I adored my Daddy. He had a way of making me feel special. Maybe it was just that we shared a birthday. Maybe it was because I was the youngest. He was a great Dad for us when we were young. As we got a bit older he struggled a bit. Maybe it was the pressures of him growing older and having more responsibility. Maybe it was watching his kids grow up so fast. I honestly felt he was just unsure of parenting teens and pre-teens. His temper grew short at times and he just didn't seem to know how to communicate. I know that often parents forget that as kids grow older they develop their own ideas, personality and opinions. Gone are the days where they hang on every word their parents spoke, maybe he just missed those days. My pre-teen years were the most awkward. My older siblings were testing his patience ( I probably was too). He was very busy at work and some days worked very long hours. My Mom's health was always an issue. I look back now and I can understand why he struggled. As I kid though I remember just always being angry with him. Luckily though it didn't last for but a few years. By the time I was 15 I was the only child left at home. I had become quite independent and was always busy with school activities. Him and my Mom felt like they finally had some freedom to do things just for themselves. They started to take trips alone and spent more time together just the two of them. Our family vacations with just the three of us were so much more relaxed. My Dad and I went to Disneyland in 1975, Disneyworld in 1976 along with several other stops along the way. He was happy again.
The biggest change in my Dad came about when he became a granddad. It was amazing how in the blink of an eye he embraced the role and the love of family. He would have done anything for his grandkids. I am so glad he got to meet at least one of his great-grandkids - Caleb. He was so proud of him. I do wish however he had been alive long enough to have met Abate and Fantu. I know if he had been he would've been on the plane to Ethiopia with me so he could meet them first. He would have loved them... I feel he probably does anyway.
His death was sudden. He was taken years before we expected him to go. I was angry about it for the first year. I did not get a chance to mourn as I had to step up and do so much for my Mom after he died. So many years have passed. I still miss him.
I'm glad he came to visit me in my dream. Hopefully it won't be so long until he comes again.
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