Dads

 I was talking to a co-worker earlier today and the conversation led to our Dads. He was never close to his as his father had abused his Mother frequently. In his words "my dad used her as a punching bag". His father wasn't physically abusive towards him, he just mainly wanted to keep him at a distance. Leave me alone and I'll leave you alone. That attitude never changed. 

I loved my Dad. He wasn't perfect, but who is. He was very much a man of his generation. He supported his family so my mother did not have to work.  He did expect her to look after the kids, do the household chores and shopping and have breakfast and dinner ready at a specific time. His evenings he read the newspaper, watched T.V. and once a week would pay the bills. Summer vacation was when we would get the most attention from him. He relaxed, he made time for family.

The only time I really struggled with my relationship with my Dad was in my early teen years. I think he struggled with teen-age kids. During those years though my sister Ginger was really acting out and causing a lot of stress for my mom & dad. My dad had nearly always been an even tempered man. He would occasionally get angry (that was never good) , the only times I remember him hitting was if he got angry while driving he would just reach across the seat and start swinging and hitting whoever was closest. I'm surprised he never wrecked the car when doing so. Luckily none of us were ever hurt and I honestly can laugh about the insaneness of it. 

My late high school years saw an improvement in my relationship with him. I was the last remaining child at home and I had earned my parents trust so they felt comfortable going away on trips and leaving me home alone. He became more at ease around me and we starting talking again. By the time I was a functioning adult, married with children we had a very good relationship and I grew to admire my Dad. He changed over the years and became more helpful around the house, he did a lot to look after my Mom. My Dad loved my Mom. He always found her to be the most beautiful woman no matter how she looked or aged. He was very protective of her and worried about her and her health issues. In my entire life I can only remember them having an heated argument once. 

Dad loved his wife, his kids, his grandkids and his great grandson. He did not live long enough to meet the remaining Great Grandkids or my two youngest - Abate and Fantu. I know he would have loved them though and would have been so proud of them. He was an amazing Grandfather. I saw an immediate change in him at the birth of his first grandchild. My daughter Andre' was always the apple of his eye, but he didn't love any of his others any less. 

I miss you Dad.