Acceptance

 Today would have been mine and Alan's 28th anniversary. It is the first one since our divorce in 2019 that I can look on it without anger or disgust. I know that what we had at one time was special. I lived an incredible life because of the years I spent with him. It was a pretty amazing journey for all but the last five years

I'll never truly understand how or why it went the way it did. I will never know why he did what he did but always continued to say he loved me. I try to know that it wasn't him but the mental illness that led him to live the way he did those last years of our marriage. I am the person I am now because of that journey. It shaped me into the person I became. I am just saddened by the way it ended. It was not how I imagined my life would be, but it is the life I am living. 

I have found peace, happiness and purpose in this my third life. I have found acceptance... acceptance of the past and the present. I have been humbled. I will create the future that I wish to live. 

           Alan and I on our Wedding Day . July 5, 1996. Kinnitty Castle, Ireland