Thirteen years ago today I was officially promoted to the Admin. position at the Convention Center where I work. At that time I had only been working here for six months in a "part-time" position. Little did I know when I took this job I would still be here thirteen years later Most of my predecessors only lasted a few years. It hasn't been a bad job. I have to honestly say I don't love it, but I don't hate it either. It is boring most of the time and can be a bit repetitive. I think one of the worst things is just the drive to and from here. it is thirty-seven miles and takes me 40 - 45 minutes each way. Road construction , traffic accidents can add some times an additional 30 - 45 minutes to the drive. When I started the position it was classified as an Admin 1, in 2022 I finally got bumped up to an Admin 2 as I had taken on more responsibilities over the years. I have been counting down the days to retirement for the past four years, as of today I have 19 months and 6 days remaining.
I always find it a bit strange to be working at a Convention Center. I'm quite introverted, I hate crowds of people, and I hate loud noises. The sound of a lot of voices, loud music, the odors, well I do my best to avoid such. But I just stay in my office and try not to venture out into the halls. If it gets too bad I will put on my headphones and play some relaxing music or a Plum Village meditation. I never attend events here. I do my Monday thru Friday 8 am to 5 pm and go home.
I wasn't always introverted. I was a very friendly talkative child. Once I started school I made friends easily. I wasn't very good at sports though. I was usually picked nearly last for a team. By Junior high I was very small for my age. Seventh grade was brutal. I was picked on and bullied just because I was an easy target and well I looked super-nerdy. I really began to withdraw. I did regain some of my confidence by eighth grade and things did improve a bit. In high school I kept to a small close-knit group. I had a few boyfriends and was involved in a few clubs and extra-curricular activities. I wasn't one of the "popular" kids, but I held my own.
As an adult I had a few friends. I tried to stay involved with activities and volunteered at the kids school. I just always felt though like I was trying to fit in. - a bit like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. It wasn't until I started work at the Austin American-Statesman newspaper part-time that I found a place I fit in. I loved working there and the people I worked with. But my life changed.... my first life ended and I moved on into my second life. Leaving much of that first one behind. My second life I became so wrapped up in my marriage and that relationship that I really never made time for friends. I had acquaintances, people I worked with, but didn't ever see outside of the job. I also started to see that people weren't always who you thought. I started to distrust more and more. When my son died I withdrew from the world. I needed time to recover and heal. Moving back to Texas, adopting Abate and Fantu helped. But more and more I saw that people weren't always what they seem. I was far happier on my own or just with my family. They became my focus.
I now live alone with my two dogs. They luckily are quiet and rarely bark. I love the peacefulness of my home. I also love when my kids come and interrupt the quiet. I still don't like crowds of people and try to avoid them. I go to the gym when it is deserted. I think I love hiking so much because it is so peaceful. When I go on road trips I always want to travel west... it is quiet. Towns are few and far between. The roads are deserted. The east coast is busy, it is crowded, to me it feels noisy. Give me that lonely New Mexico back road any day and I'll be in heaven.
Me in my office....
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